musings from the pink chair

spandex

Posted on: 19 March 2010

i went to an actual, physical american apparel store for the first time today. it was a terrifying experience.

so you know the models on their website? who are wearing, like, multicolored, high-waisted bike shorts, shiny spandex tank tops, a giant cotton sack that dips down to their waist, fishnet tights, and a leopard-print scrunchie? all at the same time? THAT WAS WHO WAS THERE RUNNING THE STORE.

i sort of thought those people didn’t exist in real life. that they were like a hipster myth. or something. i never imagined that there would be real people who dress like that. but there ARE. and they ALL work at american apparel, because if they spent time anywhere else they’d probably be sent straight to the nearest psych ward.

the first girl who asks if she can help me had her hair pulled into a sloppy, high side ponytail. she was wearing a large, long-sleeved cotton sack (apparently a dress?) with bold black and white stripes that hung off one shoulder. she had on black tights with white, thigh-high fishnets over them. i was so busy taking all of this in that i didn’t even notice her shoes. i’m sure they really would have completed the ensemble.

the second girl was worse. her hair was all straggly and she looked like it had been about a week since she’d showered. she had on skin-tight, extremely short (like you could practically see her butt hanging out of them) navy blue corduroy shorts. and i think whoever sewed them might have misunderstood the word “inseam,” because the waist came up almost past her belly button. with that she had a tucked in but very baggy long-sleeved button-up shirt. and pointy kitten-heel shoes with some sort of giant flower-thing on the front. the expression on her face left me wondering whether she looked more like a pothead or a junkie.

so i grabbed the dress i’d come in there to get, paid the girl who looked like a heroin addict, and fled the store as soon as possible. i think i’ll order online from now on, because i have a feeling that american apparel may actually be a cult. a spandex-wearing, scrunchie-loving cult.

[warning! long-winded academic rant below :) ]

um, wtf, texas? not okay.

“After three days of turbulent meetings, the Texas Board of Education on Friday approved a social studies curriculum that will put a conservative stamp on history and economics textbooks, stressing the superiority of American capitalism, questioning the Founding Fathers’ commitment to a purely secular government and presenting Republican political philosophies in a more positive light.”

stressing the ‘superiority’ of american capitalism? are you kidding me? as a former history major (and a human being with common sense), i don’t even know where to begin with all the problems i have with that. IS the american system superior? how do you know? even if you assume it is, there’s no way to prove it. what’s the ‘test’ for superiority? and IF you somehow prove that the american system is superior, how do you prove that it’s strictly due to capitalism? etc etc etc.

the founding fathers and their seperation of church and state? yes, OF COURSE they based some parts of our system on christianity. they were christians! (some of them deists.) that doesn’t mean they thought religion should control government. you know what makes me the most sick about this part? this:

“…managed to cut Thomas Jefferson from a list of figures whose writings inspired revolutions in the late 18th century and 19th century, replacing him with St. Thomas Aquinas, John Calvin and William Blackstone.”

TJ didn’t inspire revolution? that would be a laughable statement if it wasn’t so terrifying, digsusting, and unequivocally DEAD WRONG.

screw you, texas. you can’t just rewrite history because it serves your political agenda. obviously you’re not the only ones, but good god, when you not only do this but are so blatant and unapologetic about it, it makes me want to vomit. i’m glad i went to school in north carolina.

PSA

Posted on: 7 March 2010

to all the new yorkers with cablevision who are so upset about potentially missing the oscars:

ABC is a NETWORK CHANNEL.  that means ANYONE CAN GET IT FOR FREE.  PLUG IN AN ANTENNA and you can watch the oscars. DID I JUST CHANGE YOUR LIFE?

[yes, antennas may be what your parents used in the ’60s, but they still work. for free. and you get free HD, too. IT’S LIKE MAGIC! slash common sense.]

quiet

Posted on: 6 March 2010

hey, look at that:

small talk blows. it’s medically proven.

i was right all along. ugh, people suck sometimes.

lists

Posted on: 3 March 2010

late winter and spring are the most depressing seasons.  this may seem ironic since spring is supposedly a season of new beginnings and awakenings, when the flowers bloom and baby animals are born. WRONG! spring is a big tease. it wants you to think that the weather is going to be beautiful and warm and sunny, and then it’s freezing and rainy until june.

anyway, the seasons definitely affect my mood and my health.  i’m not sure if it’s legitimate SAD or just annoyance, but almost every year i get all tired and depressed from mid-january (after the high from the holidays wears off) until it gets warm(ish) in may.  this year, to help fend it off, i decided to join listography (the site is run by the same people who make the cute paper journals) and do one of their suggested lists — “100 things in the world i love.”

…except i don’t really think it’s working. i’ve been at it for a month and i’m only on number 29.  see?  i told you winter was depressing.  what else should i add?

[also, all of you should join listography because it’s great when you’re too lazy to come up with actual content for your blog. :) ]

pain

Posted on: 22 February 2010

i went to bed early last night with a migraine. this morning i woke up, and within 10 seconds, realized my worst fear: the pain was still there.

i’m a migraineur, and it sucks. a lot of people think migraines are just bad headaches. no, no, no. they are incapacitating. they are bad headaches plus nausea, eye strain, sensitivity to light, sound, and smell, and sometimes blurred vision and dizziness (aura). they can last for several days. they’re also genetic (my mom gets them), and are way more likely to affect women than men (UNFAIR!).

on new year’s eve in 2003, i had a migraine so bad that it made me cry. if i had known then what i know now about the signs of a brain aneurysm (namely: the worst headache you’ve ever had in your life), i would have gone to the emergency room. in 2004, i had migraines so frequently that i took enough aspirin and ibuprofen to inflame my stomach lining. it felt like someone was yanking out parts of my stomach with a string. i had to have an endoscopy, take medication for almost six months, and follow a diet (no caffeine, no acidic foods like tomatoes or citrus, and definitely no NSAIDs). i finally got on prescription migraine medication, which comes with its own risks (serotonin syndrome, anyone?) and is CRAZY expensive ($10 per pill, and that’s with insurance), but is better than almost certainly developing a bleeding ulcer.

most migraineurs have “triggers” that they can avoid if possible. mine include sleeping too little and sleeping too much. but a big one for me is changes in the weather (usually when it’s about to rain), so that can’t really be avoided. which blows.

anyway, since i had to work today and since i try to avoid taking my prescription migraine meds (see: $10 a pill), i downed my tylenol-plus-a-can-of-coke-over-ice cocktail, put on my sunglasses (see: extreme light sensitivity) and hoped for the best. it did as well as could be hoped — kept the pain at bay enough so that i could function. it never really makes it go away. and now we’re nearing the end of day two of migraine pain. it’s fading. it will probably be gone by tomorrow. but in 2-4 weeks, i guarantee it will be back.

when i was like five or six years old, my mom said she had to lie down because she had a headache. i said, “what’s a headache?” because i couldn’t conceive of the inside of my head hurting. i miss that.

the kroger in my neighborhood put all kinds of black hair care products on sale for black history month. no seriously. they’re on a display with a sign screaming “celebrate black history month!”

because i’m sure that sales on conditioner are *totally* what black history month was meant to be all about.

um, wow.

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I'm a twentysomething journalist who lives in Atlanta, loves all things artsy, and updates this blog from the cozy pink chair in my living room. More?

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